somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
