she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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