I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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