Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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