you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
