Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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