Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
