i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
