Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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