nutella sex= disaster
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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