Having a random hookup so left but love u
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My breasts were aching with rage.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
