STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
