she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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