I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
