Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
