ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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