this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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