There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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