Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
