She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
