taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
