Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
