Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
