I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Randomize
