So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
There's even glitter on my cock...
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