Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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