i love accidental penises.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
