I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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