By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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