My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
