i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
