I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize