Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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