are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
