hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
