is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
