it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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