I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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