its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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