the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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