I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize