I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
