If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
