i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
