How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
