R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
As shirtless as possible
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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