No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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