I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
