Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Randomize
