Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I love having hate sex.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
im on a boat
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