girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
