Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
