And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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