just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
