I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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