May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
