i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
if you like me you must not know who I am
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
