I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
True college students do jello shots in the library
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize