This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
