she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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