Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
