I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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