I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If I die, sorry about rent.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize