Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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