your room smells of hookers.
And success
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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